Monday, December 5, 2011

How to Estimate Remaining Daylight

Hard to believe I haven't posted since July. I'm such a horrible person. Anyway, the voting showed a tie between want for survival and SCIENCE. So, here's a useful survival tip I use just about everyday (sometimes just to show off).

It will be difficult to read the words, but really what you need to know is that by putting your hand like shown, one hand's length is an hour away from sunset and each finger is approximately 15 minutes. Does not work as well closer to the poles, so sorry, you crazy ice people, you're on your own. Use this to prepare before nightfall in the wilderness or to convince your friends that you are a time wizard.

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE YOU MANAGE TO DO WITH THIS (GOOD LUCK), AND I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR THE INCREASE OF DESERTED ISLAND SURVIVORS. (WILSON!)

Monday, July 4, 2011

How To Obtain Gunpowder

I really wanted to post some firework how-to, since this is the 4th of July,  but it is so ridiculously easy I just didn't feel right about it. So, I will just post this little tidbit of information and leave you to your injuries:

The easiest way to get gunpowder, short of going out and buying it, is to break open some cap-gun caps, which are, in fact, filled with small amounts of gunpowder. Then just put that in a container with one open end, put in a fuse, and light it. It's that easy. In this case, the best info. I could give you is to improvise.

I do not take responsibility for any resulting injuries or laws broken.

How To Make A Quick and Easy Homemade Smoke Bomb

Happy 4th, everyone! Will try to post some hard-explosives later, but for now, here is the easiest possible smoke bomb you could ever make.

Materials:
  • A bucket
  • Water
  • Newspaper
  • Pepto-Bismol Instacools
Steps: 
  1. Put the instacools in the bucket.
  2. Add water and keep stirring until they dissolve.
  3. Soak the newspaper in the solution for roughly three (3) minutes
  4. Dry the newspapers in the sun until they're completely dry.
  5. Roll up the newspapers.
  6. Light it.
  7. (Optional) Get it the hell away from your face.
And now enjoy your new smoke bomb! Use it how you will.

I do not take responsibility for any injuries or laws broken pertaining to this information, nor do I take credit for the sudden increase of ghetto ninjas.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

How To Make a Fireball You Can Hold in Your Hand

Another 4th of July trick, this one being slightly more legal.

Materials:
  • 100% cotton T-shirt or fabric
  • 100% cotton thread
  • Needle
  • Scissors
  • Lighter
  • Rubbing Alcohol - 70% or Lighter Fluid
Steps:
  1. Cut the T-shirt /fabric into strips (size doesn't matter, bigger strips mean bigger fireballs)
  2. Roll a strip into a ball
  3. Needle the thread and thread the cotton through the ball.
  4. Wrap the thread around the ball in different directions.
  5. Once the ball is tightly wrapped, knot the thread.
  6. Dip the ball in your fuel of choice. (I recommend the alcohol)
  7. Light it
Enjoy! You now have a fire ball that you can hold in your hand without burning the skin! Go show it off!

I do not take responsibility for any injuries done by this information, nor any laws broken by using it.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

How To Make a Hobo Stove

  1. Drain the contents of a beer/soda can. (I hope you can at least manage that)
  2. Measure one inch from the base. Use fine sandpaper to remove the paint and any dents, and use a knife to slice off this piece as cleanly and evenly as you can.
  3. Press the bottom of another, unopened can into the open part of the small base cut off in the last step. This should widen it, for fitting purposes.
  4. Empty the second can (yay!)
  5. Sand down the base, and cut in the same fashion as the first.
  6. In between the two bases, put a wad of fiberglass. Work the two ends together until they're even and tight, with no openings for fuel  to escape through.
  7. Using a sharp pushpen, poke a cross pattern of five (5)openings into the top of the now-complete stove piece. (A cross pattern means an x, with a hole on each end and one in the middle)
  8. On the same side, poke sixteen (16) evenly spaced openings all along the rim of the can. (space them the best you can)
  9. Carefully pour about three (3) teaspoons of fuel into the center holes of the stove. For fuel, you can use rubbing alcohol, Everclear, denatured alcohol, or Heet. Clean up any spills to prevent fatal accident.
  10. (Optional) If you want a metal stand, either get one or make one out of a coat hanger. Bend the coat hanger into a stable shape that won't fall over. For optimal cooking, hold the pot roughly four (4) inches above the burner.
  11. Light it!
And your done! You now have a fully-working stove to cook your mediocre meals and save your possibly worthless lives!

I do not take credit for any harm done pertaining to this device, nor do I take responsibility for the increasing number and life-span of homeless people.

How To Make a Molotov Cocktail

Getting into the 4th of July spirit, I thought I'd post some explosives over the weekend. Here's the first:

How To Make a Molotov Cocktail (Incendiary Bomb):
  1. Fill a narrow-neck bottle with gasoline, kerosene, or flammable diesel. Works better if shredded soap or sawdust is added.
  2. Insert a rag into the bottle until one end touches the liquid and the other extends no more than 20cm from the rim of the bottle.
  3. Seal the bottle tightly with string or tape.
  4. To activate:
          a. Hold the bottle in one hand with your arm extended.

          b. Light the rag with your other hand. (Using a lighter, match, whatever)

          c. Immediately throw the Molotov Cocktail at your target with enough force to break the bottle upon impact.

I do  not encourage the use of this information in any way illegal or harmful to others. I do not take responsibility for any laws broken pertaining to this information, nor do I take responsibility for any harm done to any person, either mental, physical, or otherwise.

Friday, July 1, 2011

How To Remove Change From A Vending Machine

Went to the DMV again, so another short post, but a useful one nonetheless.

How To Remove Change From A Vending Machine:
  1. Find a vending machine that looks like the one shown.
  2. Enter this code into the drink selection buttons:  432112311
  3. Immediately push the coin return button and hold it down. After a few seconds, the change will fall into the tray.
I do not encourage the use of information given in any manner illegal or harmful to others. I take no responsibility for laws broken pertaining to this information, or otherwise "caused"  by it.