How To Make a Hobo Stove

1. Drain the contents of a beer/soda can. (I hope you can at least manage that)
2. Measure one inch from the base. Use fine sandpaper to remove the paint and any dents, and use a knife to slice off this piece as cleanly and evenly as you can.
3. Press the bottom of another, unopened can into the open part of the small base cut off in the last step. This should widen it, for fitting purposes.
4. Empty the second can (yay!)
5. Sand down the base, and cut in the same fashion as the first.
6. In between the two bases, put a wad of fiberglass. Work the two ends together until they're even and tight, with no openings for fuel  to escape through.
7. Using a sharp pushpen, poke a cross pattern of five (5)openings into the top of the now-complete stove piece. (A cross pattern means an x, with a hole on each end and one in the middle)
8. On the same side, poke sixteen (16) evenly spaced openings all along the rim of the can. (space them the best you can)
9. Carefully pour about three (3) teaspoons of fuel into the center holes of the stove. For fuel, you can use rubbing alcohol, Everclear, denatured alcohol, or Heet. Clean up any spills to prevent fatal accident.
10. (Optional) If you want a metal stand, either get one or make one out of a coat hanger. Bend the coat hanger into a stable shape that won't fall over. For optimal cooking, hold the pot roughly four (4) inches above the burner.
11. Light it!

And your done! You now have a fully-working stove to cook your mediocre meals and save your possibly worthless lives!

I do not take credit for any harm done pertaining to this device, nor do I take responsibility for the increasing number and life-span of homeless people.

Free Stuff!

Let's be honest; you don't want to pay for anything. No one does. But that pesky thing called the law keeps you from making that dream a reality. Well not anymore! Here are some ways to get free stuff that are (probably) legal:

• Next time you lose a phone charger, don't buy another. Go to a local hotel and say you think you lost your phone charger there. It's the #1 thing left behind in hotels, so most have chargers of every type stashed in the back, just waiting for cheap people like you and me.

• To get free air for your tires, go to a Shell gas station and press the button on the side of the pump three times. The pump will start without you having to put any coins in.

• Start practicing sweet-talking. It may not be as natural for you as it is for me - I've been known to have a silver tongue - but the hard work really pays off when opportunities starts popping up everywhere.

• If you have a friend at Subway, (or you use the sweet-talking thing), they can hook you up with free stuff, as Subway's inventory methods aren't the best.

• If you're at a rave and don't feel like paying $5-$20 for a bottle of water, tell a member of the staff (preferably an organizer, they're the ones that shuffle around a lot and talk on walkie-talkies) that you were given some kind of pill and now you're feeling dehydrated. The last thing the organizers want is a hospital run, so unless they're really busy, they'll personally bring you over to a merchant table and get you a couple of bottles. This could also work at night clubs or festivals.

• The best way to get rich quick is to rip off someone else who wants to get rich quick, by offering them some retarded, non-working way to get rich quick.

• Although you can actually make money off of stocks, what some people do is own very little stocks in a bunch of different companies so they can get free steaks at the shareholder meetings.

• If you're at an airport, always offer to take bumps. You will usually be comped very well  for volunteering, especially if you ask. You can get first class upgrades, free ticket vouchers, even free flights.

• According to some employees at Wendy's, there is a form of Wendy's law in place at many Wendy's around the country: If someone pulls into the drive-thru and says they're not from around there, lost, and don't have any money, Wendy's will almost always compensate with free food.

• On the old standing Coke machines (the ones with the buttons on a horizontal grid at the top) pressing more than one button after inserting coins will result in one beverage of each selected coming out.

• When prompted for a promo code online, try FREESHIP. It has worked in the past.

• If something you buy from the store doesn't work after the return period,go to the store and buy an exact model of it. Then switch the two products and return the old one, saying it doesn't work.

• If one of your PC/Console games is scratched/not working, rent it and switch it out.

May you have good fortune with your free stuff, and may you not be caught, depending on whether or not it is legal.
I do not encourage the breaking of the laws, nor do I intend to this information to be used in an illegal manner. I do not take responsibility for any laws broken pertaining to this information.