How To Make a Hobo Stove

1. Drain the contents of a beer/soda can. (I hope you can at least manage that)
2. Measure one inch from the base. Use fine sandpaper to remove the paint and any dents, and use a knife to slice off this piece as cleanly and evenly as you can.
3. Press the bottom of another, unopened can into the open part of the small base cut off in the last step. This should widen it, for fitting purposes.
4. Empty the second can (yay!)
5. Sand down the base, and cut in the same fashion as the first.
6. In between the two bases, put a wad of fiberglass. Work the two ends together until they're even and tight, with no openings for fuel  to escape through.
7. Using a sharp pushpen, poke a cross pattern of five (5)openings into the top of the now-complete stove piece. (A cross pattern means an x, with a hole on each end and one in the middle)
8. On the same side, poke sixteen (16) evenly spaced openings all along the rim of the can. (space them the best you can)
9. Carefully pour about three (3) teaspoons of fuel into the center holes of the stove. For fuel, you can use rubbing alcohol, Everclear, denatured alcohol, or Heet. Clean up any spills to prevent fatal accident.
10. (Optional) If you want a metal stand, either get one or make one out of a coat hanger. Bend the coat hanger into a stable shape that won't fall over. For optimal cooking, hold the pot roughly four (4) inches above the burner.
11. Light it!

And your done! You now have a fully-working stove to cook your mediocre meals and save your possibly worthless lives!

I do not take credit for any harm done pertaining to this device, nor do I take responsibility for the increasing number and life-span of homeless people.